These are my personal book notes of Love-Based Online Marketing by the author Michele Pariza Wacek.

Let’s dive in.


  • Author: Michele Pariza Wacek
  • Title: Love-Based Online Marketing
  • Subtitle: Campaigns To Grow A Business You Love And That Loves You Back
  • First published: 2015
  • Type: non-fiction
  • Genre: marketing / online marketing
  • Author’s website:
  • Rating: 4/5
  • Recommended: Yes

Table Of Contents Of The Book

  • Dedication
  • Introduction
  • What Does Love-Based Online Marketing Even Mean?
  • How to Use This Book
  • Chapter 1
    • What’s Stopping You from Marketing Yourself?
    • E​xercise
  • Chapter 2
    • Don’t Like/Don’t Understand/Don’t Have Time/All Marketers Are Con Artists
    • Resistance 2: I Don’t Understand Marketing
    • Resistance 3: I Don’t Have Time for Marketing
    • Resistance 4: I Think All Marketers / Internet Marketers Are Con Artists and Slimeballs
    • Action Steps
  • Chapter 3
    • Fear of Success/Fear of Failure/Money and More
    • Resistance 1: I Hate Selling / I Hate Selling Myself
    • Exercise
    • Resistance 2: I’m Getting Ready to Get Ready
    • Resistance 3: Would Bad Things Happen If I Were a Success?
    • Resistance 4: Would Bad Things Happen If I Started Making More Money?
    • Resistance 5: Will Bad Things Happen If I Fail?
    • Resistance 6: Would Bad Things Happen If I Were “Out There” in a Big Way?
    • Resistance 7: I’m a Fraud
    • Action Steps to Help You Through Deeper Resistance
    • Exercise 1 - Breathing
    • Exercise 2 - Break the Cycle
    • Exercise 3 - What’s the Worst That Could Happen?
    • Exercise 4 - Byron Katie’s “The Work”
  • Chapter 4
    • External Game: Online Marketing Overview
    • Your Ideal Clients
    • Your Message
    • Your Mindset/”Come From”
    • Action Steps
  • Chapter 5
    • Finding and Attracting Ideal Prospects
    • Love Your Marketing Assessment
    • Scoring
  • Chapter 6
    • Building and Nurturing Your List/Community
    • Building Your Community
    • How to Offer Your Freebie
  • Chapter 7
    • Inviting your Ideal Prospects to Become Ideal Clients
    • Best Strategies for Selling What Your Business Offers
    • Conversions
    • Types of Launches
    • Advertising
  • Chapter 8
    • Long-Term and Short-Term Marketing Strategies
    • Common Long-Term Marketing Strategies
    • Common Short-Term Marketing Strategies
  • Chapter 9
    • Creating Your Online Marketing Plan
    • Additional Tips and Extras
    • Create Your Online Marketing Plan
  • Chapter 10
    • Your Next Steps
  • Appendix - Exercises to Help You Shift Your Mindset from Fear to Love
  • Glossary
  • About the Author Michele PW
  • Resources

Key Concepts & Ideas

Here’s the thing:

If we aren’t marketing ourselves the way we know we ought to be, there’s something deeper going on.

And that’s what this book is about.

Yes, you’ll find marketing strategies in this book, because not knowing what to do is a legitimate reason for not marketing yourself.

But, that’s typically not the only reason.

So, we’re also going to delve into other reasons too.

Because all the strategy and knowledge and good intentions and “shoulds” in the world isn’t worth a hill of beans if you haven’t resolved the deeper issue, the real reason you aren’t marketing yourself or your business.

It was only by working through those deeper issues that I was able to start marketing my business on a regular basis, which not only led to the “smoothing out” of the feast and famine cycle, but also to my finally breaking 6 figures, and continuing to grow from there.

Personal comment: I already love the book at this point. Seriously. While working with many beginning online business owners and affiliate marketers, I know 100% that success in this domain is usually not about the “how”. It’s all about execution. And as I admit in the article above, I struggled with the execution part - mostly because of illusional fears and social anxiety - myself for years.

What Does Love-Based Online Marketing Even Mean?

You see, there are only two “master” emotions - love and fear.

All other emotions can be categorized under them.

Love-based emotions include love, hope, joy, gratitude, peace, faith, trust, confidence, happiness, connection, forgiveness, openness, passion, freedom, harmony, honesty, compassion, respect, acceptance, understanding, etc.

Fear-based emotions include fear, anger, grief, shame, guilt, bitterness, judgment, jealously, frustration, doubt, insecurity, etc.

How Does This Relate To Business?

Well, because much of what we consider “traditional business” is built on a foundation of fear.

Think about it: fear is easier.

Many, many folks live their lives being controlled in some way by fear-based emotions.

Either consciously - they’re angry/depressed/grieving/judgmental/fearful/worrying/unhappy/etc., or unconsciously - and when they feel an uncomfortable emotion, they run away from it, bury it, hide from it, etc.

Consider all the things that happen when someone gets upset - he or she starts a fight, takes a drink, overeats, goes shopping, gossips, and so on.

So, if fear-based emotions are controlling your behavior, it’s going to be very difficult to build anything love-based.

Now, just to be clear, being love-based doesn’t mean you don’t feel fear-based emotions - on the contrary, people who have embraced love-based businesses and lives in fact do fully feel all emotions, whether love-based or fear-based.

It simply means you lead with love-based emotions, and you don’t allow fear-based emotions to dictate your actions.

It’s important to realize that there is definitely a place for fear-based emotions in our human existence.

Whether we like it or not, fear-based emotions play an important role in our lives as humans.

Where we get into trouble is when we don’t allow ourselves to really feel those emotions, because they don’t feel good.

That’s when they tend to control us.

​The key: rather than fight the fear-based emotions, you feel them and let them move through you.

Feelings just want to be felt, after all.

You can then make decisions and take actions from a place of love.

And you invite your ideal clients to do business with you by triggering love-based emotions versus fear-based.

Bottom line: You have a choice - you can choose to build your business on a foundation of love or you can build your business on a foundation of fear.

Love is about choice.

Love is about educating and then standing back and giving people a choice around what they want to do.

Just like I am educating you about love-based and fear-based tactics, and then stepping back so you can make the choice on which business you want to build.

It really is your choice.

I’m simply here to educate you about your options.

Personal comment: I never thought about it in this way, but value first marketing & sales could also be called love-based marketing & sales.

The bottom line: the more relaxed you are, the more fun you’re having, the more successful you’ll be.

Your Inner Game / Marketing Mindset

What’s Stopping You from Marketing Yourself?

Having a strong, thriving marketing arm is critical if you want a successful, profitable, sustainable business.

But, here’s the thing about marketing - for many, it’s also a huge trigger.

Consider how marketing relates to the following common fears:

  • Fear of success - marketing is key to business success.
  • Fear of failure - marketing feels overwhelming, and what if it doesn’t work? Example: “I’m not even going to try, because if I don’t try, I won’t fail.”
  • Money issues - marketing brings in revenue.
  • Fear of not spending quality time with friends / family - marketing results in new clients, which sucks up time.
  • Fear of visibility, or getting “big” - marketing gets you and your message “out there.​”
  • Fear of owning your value - marketing shares your gifts and solutions with those who need you most. At least part of your message ought to be around the value you bring to your clients (and if it’s not, it’s probably not going to be very effective).
  • Fear of having to “sell” yourself - marketing often brings in prospects who simply need a conversation with you in order to become a client.

This short list doesn’t even touch on the other reasons entrepreneurs struggle with marketing - things like not enjoying marketing in and of itself, not having the time to market themselves, not wanting to feel slimy or salesy, not wanting to be like the slimy marketers out there who are only about “getting the sale,” or just not having the experience or knowledge when it comes to marketing best practices.

And, as marketing is the lifeblood of any business, it’s easy to understand how marketing could easily become a mirror to the blocks, fears, doubts, resistance, etc. that you have around growing as a person, and fulfilling your dreams and purpose.


Here’s the great news:

Knowing this, you are now in a perfect position to uncover the resistance and blocks you’re experiencing, and move through them.

Journaling Exercise

This is a journaling exercise.

I recommend using pen and paper versus typing on a computer, because when you write by hand, you are more likely to tap into deeper levels of your subconscious - but of course, do what feels right for you.

Remember to download my Love-Based Online Marketing Workbook, which provides space for you to complete the following exercise.

You can do that now, here:

Take a few moments to answer the following questions honestly, without censoring yourself.

Don’t overthink, just write.

And write down everything you can think of, for each question.

  1. How do I feel about marketing in general?
  2. How do I feel about myself when I market myself?
  3. What is my number one frustration/dislike around marketing, and why?
  4. Now, make a list of 3-4 other marketing-related frustrations/dislikes. For each, also ask yourself why it bothers you, and write down the reasons. (Consider this a mini-brainstorming session, and write whatever comes to mind.)
  5. Revisit number 4 above two or three times to make sure you capture as many of your resistances as you can on paper.

Personal comment: Please skim over the table of contents again, especially chapter 2 and 3.

Michele is adressing all these resistance points / excuses one by one, in a very detailed way and with action steps to overcome these.

Cudos to the author!

For obvious reasons I can’t go through the whole list here.

If you like what you read, buy the book from the author.

Fear Of Success / Fear Of Failure / Money And More

Now it’s time to delve into some of the deeper, murkier resistances that you may not even be completely consciously aware of right now, because they have a tendency to bury deep.

Alas, these are also the ones that are probably stopping you the most, so getting a handle on them is pretty important, if you want to move forward in your marketing.

Resistance 1: I Hate Selling / I Hate Selling Myself

The question really is - why do you hate selling?

​Is it because you think sales people are all slimy and salesy?

Is it because you’re having issues valuing yourself and your gifts?

Is it because you’re struggling with making money?

All of the above? Something else?

It’s important to get to the bottom of this one.

Chances are, hating selling isn’t really the problem.

The problem is what selling represents to you.


Center yourself by sitting quietly for a few minutes and taking a few deep breaths.

Now, start journaling around the question “Why do I hate selling?”

Don’t censor yourself, just let it all out.

What exactly is blocking you - no matter how silly or insignificant you think it is.

You can use the questions above to help you brainstorm your answers.

When you think you’re done, take a breath, and then keep writing for a few more minutes.

Usually the gold happens after you think you’ve exhausted everything there is to say on this topic, so keep going, just a little longer.

You may want to do this a few times to really make sure you get it all out onto the paper.

Once you’re done, take a moment to read and review what you wrote.

Are you seeing any themes?

Make a note of them.

If while you complete this exercise, a different resistance surfaces, don’t worry.

Simply review the corresponding section of the new resistance, and work through those action steps.

This is totally normal!

Resistance 2: I’m Getting Ready To Get Ready

So, I suspect that’s not exactly what you’re saying to yourself - your inner dialog probably sounds something more along the lines of:

“I need to finish my schooling/earn my certification/finish this class/read one more book and then I’ll be ready,” or

“I need to finish my book/finish my program/finish my website and then I’ll be ready,” or

“I need to get my ducks in a row before I can do X,” or

“I need to wait until the kids are in school/out of school/moved out/moved back in and then I can do X.”

==> Execute.

Basically, these are all variations of the same resistance:

Needing X to be in place before you can do Y.

On the surface, this actually makes a lot of sense and can be easily justified.

But scratch a little deeper, and you’ll find what’s really going on:

It’s a delaying technique.

​How do you know if this is what’s happening with you?

Read the following, and pay attention to your reactions as you do:

You keep adding to the ever-growing list of things that need to be in place for Y to happen.

For instance, maybe you wanted to get certified as a coach before you started your business.

But, then you decided you needed to take a marketing class.

And then you realized you needed to get your website done, but, oh, you’d better take a WordPress class so you can build your site, and then, you had to take a copywriting course to write your copy for the website.

And, before you actually launched your site, you had to get professional pictures taken, but before you did that, you wanted to lose twenty pounds… and on and on.

My point:

You don’t really need any of that to line up a few clients and start coaching.

Yes, even the actual certification.

Now don’t get me wrong; I think getting coaching training is an excellent thing, and personally, I continuously educate myself on my craft - but I don’t allow it to stand in my way of finding paying clients.

So, while all of the things I mentioned will help you run a successful business, none of it needs to be in place to get started.

You never finish X so you can’t do Y.

So, what do you do to get out of it?

Well, once again, I suspect there’s a deeper resistance going on that’s actually stopping you.

The “getting ready to get ready” excuse is simply a way to justify staying stuck - to not move forward.

Action Steps

Complete the Journaling Exercise in the “I Hate Selling” section above, if you haven’t already - and see what surfaces for you that’s keeping you stuck in “getting ready to get ready.”

Personal comment: I struggled with this excuse for years. I was truly the master procrastinator, the international championship winner when it comes to “finding excuses to start” and procastinating instead. Make sure to read this to find a potential way out, if you’re struggling with this.

If you have a dream, you can spend a lifetime studying, planning, and getting ready for it. What you should be doing is getting started.
- Drew Houston

Closing Thoughts

I hope you enjoyed reading my personal notes!

My book notes only cover small parts of the book.

So if you like what you read, please consider buying the book from the author.

Thank you for reading and stay awesome,

Tim for Online Business Dude

PS: Start Your Own, Profitable Online Business From Scratch, Step-by-Step, Today!

==> Download The Free Online Business Blueprint (PDF)